I wondered who would kill me?
Would I end up dead in the streets?
Fearing my father’s fists and rage;
When off pills and unstable.
Bi-polar came like seasons-
Always with uncertainty and unknown lengths of time
And a never ending dance on egg shells.
I know the cops would do nothing
But say sorry in providing the proof
To the incident numbers.
What started to cause fear and panic-
Anxiety that would keep me awake at night.
Thoughts of being attacked and how it would happen-
How it would go down because of the truth.
Paranoia and unsure of how to protect myself-
There was no sense of justice with shut down courts.
Judges and lawyers that didn’t follow principle applications of law.
I wanted to help change it from the inside.
Only to see the danger and no sense of safety.
I felt calmer in the forest. In my dirty white dress
Where no one was judging me but God.